Tales from One Month In

Feb 2

Feb 2 Tales from One Month In

Well here we are—one month in to being parents and a family of three. Some of it is getting way easier, some changes every day! I started keeping this note in my phone of things I wish someone had told me, our most used items so far, and just random thoughts to share with friends expecting shortly I thought why not share with everyone along with our one month recap!

Month one has been full of sleepless nights, some tears, feeling unsure of myself, and also the sweetest moments I will treasure forever. After 14 years of it being just Lee & I, having a third person in the mix & getting to know each other in new ways has been super special. Currently Anne Rawlins at one month old loves eating, mom & dad, and lights. Her dislikes include naps, being changed, and being hungry. We are starting to find a rhythm & schedule which has been nice to have a little predictability in our day.

So I divided this up into what you actually need in the hospital, things I wish someone had told be about postpartum, & my fave postpartum & baby things so far.

What you actually need at the hospital:

For you to wear, a nursing bra and your going home outfit is plenty. i wore either the hospital gown through labor and delivery and first night of recovery, and day 2 I wore a bra and the mesh undies all day bc everything else was just too much of a pain to get in and off. For nursing, I prefer a bralette type that you can just pull the strap down was just easier to me.
For baby, bring 1-2 outfits for baby there’s literally no point to anything else lol at the amount i packed for her. I did put everything in plastic bags, labeled so it was easy for Lee to find, and for me to ask for.

I used a stroller fan on the side of the bed for during labor. There will come a point where you will get overheated, and nauseous. This was a GODSEND.
We brought out Boppy although it’s a pain to use in the hospital bed because the sides aren’t supported well but bring it with you.
Your own pillows—I wish I had brought more bc the plastic pillows don’t stay put to help support her while your feeding they always slipped down. You will want your pillow for sleeping too. Put a non-white pillowcase on it so it doesn’t get confused with the hospital linens.
ALL THE SNACKS. You will be starving all the time.
Frida mom peri bottle I liked it better than the hospital one.
For the first two weeks, we used a notebook to keep up with feedings/changes so you both can know whats going on rather than using your phone. Now I use a note in my phone. When we have childcare, we will go back to a notebook so we know how her day was.
SOUND MACHINE for y’all she’ll be fine but thank god we had that—hospitals are noisy!
The Vava nightlight AND charger...i forgot the charger...would have been nice to use-- a must have item! We use ours every night at home.
A power strip
A long phone charger
2 blankets one for you one for him
Whatever will make you feel comfortable -- who cares if its too much
Shoes or socks to walk around in—my swelling was so bad i couldn’t keep either on but oh well
Bring a folder they give you all kinds of paperwork then it’s in one place to go through later

What I wish someone had told me/postpartum must haves:

Birthing a baby was unreal and the most proud I have ever been of myself. You will feel incredibly empowered that you just did that(no matter how your baby enters the world—all birth is birth). The pain came quicker and faster than I expected after about 3-4 hours of contractions. Once my contractions got to 3 min apart, that was when it got intense. I do wish I had gotten my epidural about 45 minutes sooner than I did because it got to the point I couldn’t catch my breath through the pain. It hurt, but you can do it. It is temporary and that was what I just tried to keep telling myself.
I live in a nightshirt button down. So easy to nurse/pump in and cover up if someone pops by.
Have two sets of the lanoish soothing pads one always in rotation and in freezer. Your boobs are going hurt like hell those first couple of days.
TMI but Keep taking the stool softener. The first poo is ROUGH. Take it for about 2 weeks.
Blow your nose only while sitting on the toilet, coughing and sneezing will hurt.
For me, day 3 was the hardest. I felt the exhaustion hard core. Just know when to walk away and have someone else hold her and go to sleep.
Day 5 my boobs killed. My milk was coming in and they were hard as rocks. Use those soothing pads, take a hot shower, and hand express. Feed as often as possible for relief. Use a hot compress before feeding, cold after.
When your milk comes in like day 5 or 6, start using the haaka(silicone pump) on the opp side you’re feeding on. And then switch when you switch sides. Helps with engorgement and helps tell your body you need to make more. Be careful to not have it too tight on but it’s great for getting 10-20ML extra a feeding to add to your supply.
Day 6-8 it’s easier. You know each other better and are finding a rhythm. Each day, each week gets easier and feels like we know each other more & more, and how to care for her.
FYI your back, neck, and shoulders are going to kill. I wasn’t expecting to be so hunched over, and when you are in that position 6-8 times a day after a while it starts to hurt. Using a back massager, hot baths, and icy hot patches have helped.
Get the whole Fridamom Postpartum kit. You need all these things. Also get Tucks pads, and dermaplast. I also found this company called Bodily on instagram and honestly I wish I had found this before I gave birth. They have what looks to be an awesome Care for Birth Box.
If you plan to breastfeed/pump, check out what size flange(the part that goes right on your boob) comes with your pump. You might need a smaller or larger depending on what comes with your pump--learned this after the fact. Your pump website should have how to measure. To get yours through insurance, go through aeroflow--just google.
Personally, having my mom here with us through week 3 was really helpful. She took care of us so we could take care of the baby. She helped with the baby too of course but making sure we were fed, laundry was done, and my freezer was stocked was a big gift. Have support & help planned—you will be sore & hurt, and be exhausted. An extra set of hands never hurt anyone!
MUST HAVES:
Wherever “your” spot will be to nurse/feed, make yourself a basket for all your stuff—nipple shield, pacis, your phone, a burp cloth, nipple cream, pen/notepad-book, chapstick, hand sanitizer. See my picture below for what I have. I just used something I had around the house.
3 tier rolling cart—can hold diapers, wipes, your cream, your pump, water burps etc. I’ve loved being able to just have everything in one place and roll it around as i need to.
Having my basket & the cart has been super helpful. We made a cart for upstairs and downstairs(our bedroom & nursery is upstairs). Reason i liked the cart over just the diaper cady was just more room for the things we are using all day long. It really has become our little baby center for her. This has really kept me organized and keep everything in one place & Lee doesn't have to ask 100 times where something is. I added some photos to see what we put on ours.
Tip for you: put someone else in charge of giving you your pain meds, stool softener, prenatal vitamins. You’ll never remember. Lee did this for the first week or so home for me which was helpful because I couldn’t remember my own name that first week.
The Brest friend pillow vs boppy -- we have both. I got the brest friend after using the boppy because I felt like it wasn't getting her high enough and I was hunching over too much. The boppy is great for lounging, & bottle feeding.
Get nursing bras that are also pumping bras. You might have to start pumping sooner than you think. I got this one off amazon that I have liked and the kindred bravery brand is nice.
Vava nightlight--must must have. I linked it above.
You will need one million burp cloths don't buy just register for them, also you will get one million blankets and you will need them all. The muslin swaddle ones are my faves.
Haaka pump
Pampers have been the diapers we have liked the most and best fit her.
Diaper bag---so I got a tote to start with. Went out with it twice too hard to juggle that and baby. Got the fawn designs backpack bundle--life saver. Such a nice bag, and plenty of room, and cute. I really love this bag.
Happiest baby swaddle--MUST have. Been my favorite swaddle we have used. We have several SwaddleMe’s but they are still too big for her and while we can get a swaddle blanket tight, I was worried about her getting a blanket loose & getting it over her face.
I feel passionate about this course we took. Karrie is a Postpartum nurse & mom of 3. With hospitals not offering in person classes, I began researching resources around my second trimester. I found Karrie’s instagram(which is great and you should go follow her). After learning so much there, when she released her bringing home baby course I knew we had to take it. I did the bundle with the breastfeeding course as well. HIGHLY recommend. I didn’t realize how much more confident I was because I had the information. We refer to her course several times a week. There is tons of information, resources, and ideas packed into these two courses. Other resources I found/find helpful: Taking Cara Babies, Little Z Sleep & Moms on Call. While these have all been helpful to us, remember that you know your baby best. Mother’s intuition is truly a thing.

My last tip is rely on your people. Asking for help is ok. I have been incredibly grateful for my mom friends who are in the same season as me as well as those ahead of me. Having my friends Brittany & Kelsea who had babies the same month I did has been a godsend. We are all experiencing the same things within days or weeks of each other, sharing how its going, things that are making our lives easier, and the struggles too. My mom friends that are ahead of me, particularly my sister Brittany, & friends Julie, Shelley, Krystle, Robin, Ginny & Emily, have been a HUGE support system for me. Whether its asking about brands of things they like, pumping/feeding questions, or the OH MY GOD WHAT DO I DO? questions have been a lifeline. The friends that have brought us meals, loved on us & just asked me how I was have also been essential (thanks Aunt Rachel for everything you’ve done, & the Deevs for bringing food, welfare checks, and getting me out of the house). Being pregnant, & having a baby during a pandemic was & has been incredibly isolating. I am someone who has a very social job, and is a very social person. Quality time is one of my top 2 love languages so not getting that in this season has been really hard. Stay connected to your community the best you can.

Well that is what I know about being a mom one month in. The amount of respect & admiration I have for my mother, and all mothers has significantly grown. Women are superheros yall. We are looking forward to month 2 which hopefully brings social smiles, longer stretches of sleep, and more of the best snugs ever.