The Storks Party of 3
It is has been a while since we have done an update on our journey to parenthood on the blog. In fall 2019, Lee and I decided to take a couple month break from fertility meds. Our 4th IUI in September did not work and I was embarking on a busy work, and travel season. It was a good time to pause and reset. Adoption was continuing to wear on us. After being an active family for 18 months, presenting our profile 45+ times and being rejected every time, we were tired. We decided to give pursuing adoption until December and then we would decide our next steps.
As luck would have it before Thanksgiving, we were asked about a very unique situation. An 18 month old little girl was being placed for adoption by her parents but the aunt currently had custody of her. She somehow obtained custody with no consent from the parents, and essentially took her away. The aunt had 8 biological children at home as well. It was documented that they frequently did not have power, water, and basic necessities but the aunt was able to obtain this custody. The parents wanted her placed in a private adoption. In order to do so, a court hearing had to happen regarding the current situation with the aunt and get the judge’s approval for private adoption to take place. We were chosen, we were ready. We were told to prepare for it not working out but everyone involved said they would be very surprised if the judge didn’t allow it. Our court date came and the judge dismissed the case entirely. The lawyers were not even able to present our home study to the judge. Another family had been selected early on in this case but this had been going on for quite some time so they decided to back out in September. Once the judge heard there was a substitution of family, he dismissed the case, and the little girl remained with the aunt. We could have challenged it but who knows how long it would have dragged out in court. We were shattered. We still talk about her. We decided that was our sign to close the book on adoption for now. We spent nearly $20,000 on application fees, home studies, books, mailings, background checks, lawyers, consultants. To those who supported our efforts, your donations and funds did not go to waste. They allowed us to keep going when we didn’t think we could. We learned SO much about the adoption industry, because let’s be honest that is what it is. Our system is BROKEN and children are the ones suffering.
After some days of grieving, we called our doctor and decided it was time for IVF. We never thought IVF would be what we would pursue. When we started this journey about 2.5 years ago we said all along IVF wasn’t for us. LOL. I could not take the rejection & pain of adoption any longer and knew if we continued my mental health would suffer. We met with our fertility specialist, read over the information, and decided to go for it.
IVF is in-vitro fertilization. They removed the woman’s eggs, and take the man’s sperm to create an embryo over a 5-6 day period in a lab. After the embryo is created you can either transfer that embryo right away or freeze the embryos and wait a cycle for transfer. In October we discussed this being a possibility so I started to limit caffeine, no alcohol, as many whole foods as possible, watch what I was warming in plastic, I pretty much only use clean beauty & self care products as well as cleaning products and taking several vitamins. Eggs cycle in 90 days so I wanted to do everything I could to support the best possible egg health. If you are going through infertility, I found the book It Starts With The Egg very helpful.
In January I began my medications for IVF. I had pills to take as well as a couple of shots a day. Having a medical professional as a spouse comes in handy in times like these. Lee was great at helping me and I had to do them myself for a few days while he was working. On January 31st, we went in for egg retrieval. We had 13 eggs retrieved. Our doctors were happy with those numbers. 11 were mature enough to fertilize. They made the decision to inject the sperm directly into the eggs for best chances of fertilization. As the days continued they would call and update me with growth information. We ended up with 4 embryos. Our doctor decided to freeze the embryos and let my body heal before transfering. I was disappointed but also wanted to give our embryos the best chance of implantation. After my cycle started in February, there were some irregularities on the uterine lining that concerned her. They decided to remove those polyps first before we could do an embryo transfer. More waiting…so I had those removed in February. We were told we may still be able to do the March transfer cycle. The clinics transfer embryos certain weeks as that is when the embryologist is in the lab. Unfortunately, we could not and so we had to wait some more.
So my cycle FINALLY started March 17th (one day before they told us if it hadn’t we’d have to wait another month) and I began medications again. Estrogen is given to build the uterine lining and progesterone shots are given to support implantation and the uterine lining. The shots are painful, hurt, and I am pretty bruised from them.
Transfer Day: April 9th, 2020. I was very nervous that Thursday morning. The day we had been waiting for was here, finally. Although I have been pregnant before, my biggest fear has and probably will continue to be, staying pregnant but one thing at a time. We headed to Birmingham for our appointment. We got to watch the entire thing which was SO cool. Science is really a remarkable thing. So the embryos are thawed that morning, and then they are transferred directly into the uterus. Watching the whole thing was surreal. It was maybe 10 minutes long. I got up, freshened up, changed, and basically we were sent home to rest and hang out. While waiting for our blood test day to confirm pregnancy, I tried to keep my mind off of everything. I colored, we finished Ozark(woah), I have been trying to walk regularly and do Pure Barre at least twice a week to keep my blood flow up.
Blood Test Day: April 20th. You go in, they draw blood, and then you wait…Every time my phone lit up that day I jumped. We got the call: you are pregnant. All levels were great and we are officially pregnant. We sat there in shock.
First ultrasound : Our first ultrasound was on May 5th. What would have been my due date two years ago. Immediately I saw both sacs. She confirmed we are pregnant with TWINS. TWO babies. Lee and I cried, squeezed each other’s hands, and also were in shock. We continued to be in shock honestly. We told our families the moment they could all FaceTime that day!
8 week appointment: May 18th. It has taken me a few weeks to write about our 8 week appointment. Sadly, we had one embryo not develop. It was a very bittersweet day because we have one very healthy and heart beating embryo. We had begun to let our minds wander, and learn about what caring for twins would be like, and told a few friends and family. So it was hard to go back and tell them things had changed, but hearing that heartbeat will forever be one of the best days of my life. By week 7, I was very tired and having a hard time staying awake past 8p. The nausea also started and I quickly was limited to what I could eat.
The first sign of a bump
10 week appointment. June 1st. We are developing right on schedule. Today’s appointment was one of the coolest. It really looks like a baby—which is wild. We have strong development and heartbeat. Our doctor is pleased with everything. I will finish at our specialist after my 12 week appointment and then “graduate” to my regular doctor which is so strange. I have been going to our specialist since December 2018. It is a special place with special people. This appointment was so neat to see Baby Bean(what I have been calling it) wiggle around. We could have chosen to do the early genetic testing but since we have a non developing embryo that my body will eventually absorb we could have received a false positive on the testing so we opted not to do it and wait for the anatomy scan at 20 weeks. We were hoping to know gender early but looks like we will have to wait a little longer. I was very hopeful to be done with my progesterone shots after this appointment but I will continue them until my 12 week appointment. In the midst of our world seemingly crumbling, today was a wonderful day. I have some energy back but am still pretty queasy and very uninterested in meat. I am tired of eating the same things and never really being sure what I will be in the mood for. I know Lee is over it too.
Before our 10 week appointment!
Baby Bean’s first wedding!
12 week appointment — first trimester done! I graduated from our specialist and will move to our regular doc. I am still exhausted, not eating meat, and don’t feel my best. It has made work hard, and pregnancy brain is a real thing—sorry to anyone I doubted before. Lee has been incredibly supportive and understanding of my food aversions. He has been so patient.
12 weeks!
15 weeks and 6 days. July 10th might go down as one of the best days of my life. My mom, sister and one of the nephews came down from Maryland to visit and for us to do a gender reveal with them, Lee’s parents, my best friend Rachel and a few family members who couldn’t be there virtually. The anticipation of the entire day was enough to make me crazy. We went to the doctor early that morning for our scan and got to see Baby Bean. Healthy, growing, heart beating. Nothing will ever be better than that sound. We met Rachel in the parking lot and passed off the envelope for her to go get a cake. We spent the day trying to keep busy and distracted. Thank you for supporting our journey to parenthood. We still have a ways to go but there is so very much to be thankful for. Scroll to the bottom to see if it is a boy or girl!
My mom made us blue and pink masks to wear and we met Rachel to pass of the envelope!
Beautiful set up done by my mom, sister and Rachel!
Sweet cake!
Here we go!
Here we go!
My lack of chill: an evolution in pictures
I may have seen the frosting….
Sheer shock
A long awaited celebration
We love our girl already!
Me and my sis: Aunt BB!
We shopped til we dropped(safely, of course) Saturday. Girlfriend already has a solid wardrobe going…poor Lee.
Anne: My mom’s middle name, both of Lee’s grandmothers names, and many other important women in my life have Anne in their names as well.
Rawlins: Lee’s mom, Cathy’s, maiden name. I have loved it since we started dating and knew if we got married it would be in a girl’s name.
I will call her Anne Rawlins, Lee says he will just call her Anne, currently she is Baby Bean, Baby girl, Annie girl, Annie, Anne, AR…we have alot of nicknames.
